I've mentioned in several of my breast cancer related posts that I have a few friends who've been through breast cancer. These women have given me inspiration and courage and I'm so grateful for them all.
Kandi died of metastatic breast cancer about a year and half ago. She went to my church and I had quite a few conversations with her during her illness. One thing I remember is that she always talked more about her kids than her cancer. She must have been in her early forties, if that old, when she was diagnosed and her three children were in elementary and junior high school. From the beginning, her cancer was aggressive. She endured surgery, radiation and multiple rounds of chemotherapy. Her battle with the disease was long and arduous and bravely fought. She lived long enough to see her children grow up, but not long enough to see her first grandchild, who her youngest daughter is expecting now. We have more contact with Kandi's son than with the rest of her family now. He was with her when she died at home and he misses her terribly. Remembering Kandi helps me not to take my blessings for granted. She faced her battle with courageous faith and grace and I have things so much easier than she did in so many ways.
I got to know Sue about fifteen years ago and, sadly, have lost contact with her now. Her husband is military and they moved a lot. Sue was also diagnosed with an aggressive breast cancer while her two children were in elementary school. She went through mastectomy and chemotherapy. The first time I participated in the Race for the Cure, it was with Sue.
My friend, Gloria, like me, was diagnosed because of a mammogram, when she had no reason to suspect she had breast cancer. She is considered a long term survivor now, but suffers from lymphodema due to the loss of so many lymph nodes. My second Race for the Cure was with Gloria and both of our husbands. They came down from Dallas to participate in the San Antonio event. Gloria is really into breast cancer awareness and I respect that. She likes to experience the Race for the Cure in as many different cities as she can and she collects pink ribbon jewelry and mementos.
My friend, Jennifer, is the first person I called outside of my family after my diagnosis and the first to visit me after surgery. She is a few years younger than me and about eleven years ago she also had lumpectomy followed by radiation. At the time she was homeschooling her two sons who were in their early teens. She was fine for a decade and then last year was diagnosed with a different type of breast cancer, Paget disease, in the same breast. This time she had a mastectomy and reconstruction, with a lot of difficult complications in the process. It was a long ordeal, but she's doing well now. Jennifer has been a wonderful source of encouragement, information and perspective for me. My surgeon was the same one who performed her lumpectomy eleven years ago.
Debbie is another church friend from years ago who now lives in another state. She is also a nurse who has had lumpectomy, followed by radiation and is now taking Tamoxifen, which is the same three stage course of treatment I'm having. She contacted me after hearing about my diagnosis and has been great about answering questions I didn't know enough to ask yet. With her nurse's perspective and great sense of humor, she has helped me to be better prepared every step of way and has given me some good laughs in the process.
Then there are Cherry and Marcia, also old friends who now live in other states and who've contacted me through Facebook to let me know about their experiences with breast cancer and to give me encouragement.
At times it seems that American culture is over saturated with "breast cancer awareness," but there's no substitute for personal connections with friends who are generous enough to talk openly and in helpful detail about their own experiences. We all go through trials and tribulations in life and most of us will have opportunities to use those experiences to help others. I'm grateful to be the recipient of this kind of help and hope to pay it forward when I have those same opportunities. It is estimated that one in eight American women will have breast cancer in her lifetime. This is one reason I've chosen to talk openly about my breast cancer in this blog.
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